i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
