u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
