TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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