i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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