fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
