He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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