Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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