I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
