Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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