i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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