do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
