no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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