you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
