is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Come on in and take your pants off
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