Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize