Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I love you. Go after that dick
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize