I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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