i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
