if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is Oprah even human
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
