Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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