Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize