Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
