Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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