Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Actions speak louder than pants.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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