dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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