Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
