Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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