Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
