I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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