the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
