At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
