Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
