im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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