plz talk dirty to me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
