My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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