I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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