Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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