don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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