I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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