Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
