took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
