The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
