It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think your dad took our porno
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
