i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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