I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
