His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
