Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
