They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
