Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
