I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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