"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
