dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
