somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
