Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
