Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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