best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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