she woke up with a sticky ear
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
