Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
