Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
