I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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