before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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