Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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