Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
