Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
