My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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