I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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