last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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