I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
