Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
