i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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