Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
